Write For Life

The weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Right now I'm trying to keep myself in check, keep my anger and frustration from pushing me over the edge, and I am succeeding for only one reason. I'm trying to balance my schedule and make time for myself and my family. Most who know me know how big of a sucker I am when it comes to those who need help. I put those who ask for my help in front of everything else and its been causing a problem in my life, one I am about to fix.

I thought about this for a while. Wondering why it is that I feel like I have to help every soul in need. I got my answer today. Its because when I was the one needing help I had no one to turn to. Remembering that brought back the memories of some of the worst times of my life, of most of my family turning me away one by one when I needed support and stability after losing my mother. Sometimes not even your own family will help you, but I was lucky that my aunt and uncle stepped up to the plate. My brother and I were a few of the more fortunate ones.
Our church was a huge part of our lives and they helped out in every way they could. It was hard after my aunt took in two extra kids on top of their three.
Ever since then I have spent the majority of my time helping the church. Giving back to them the help they gave us, granted I dislike our pastor Riggs, and his pig of a niece Chandra. (Yes she does go to Walker Valley High School and I'll fall out of this chair laughing if she reads this.) I try to keep my distance from the man and instead took my place helping the children's pastor Mr. Larry Green. (Whose son is Mr. Green from Walker Valley High School.) Seeing the children from our church always gets to me. I guess I had a soft spot when it came to helping them because I found myself doing more and more for all children who came asking for help.
The feeling you get from seeing a little kid smile because of you is more than I can put into words. It is overwhelming and soon you find yourself wound up so tight from spending all your time there instead of with family and friends. You feel as if you've missed so much because of it, but never sorry that you did because you know you made a difference in so many lives. I finally got tired of saying I was busy whenever I was asked out and being left out when my friends did a group thing.

But that didn't work for me either, I couldn't just cut them out of my life I felt I was letting them down completely. Even tho I feel like I've done my part it doesn't mean I should quit all together does it? I was introduced into a pilot program called Write For Life in which I believe is the perfect opportunity for me to have time with those I love and kids that need support. If we feel like this succeeds then we might later expand it for any kid that needs support like I did long ago. Writing was a key element in my progress to a normal life. Without writing poetry, stories, keeping journals and such I wouldn't of had a normal way to release the emotions I had stored inside of me. Some of the kids we deal with are like I once was, they have so much stored up inside of them that it not only hurts them but the ones around them who watch them go into submission or have outrages that could lead to physical damage to those near.
Instead of dealing in this way we help take the suppressed emotions and turn them into an creative outlet showing them there are more ways to deal with mainly grief and anger than just storing it up. For all the results are different. We can help all kids but some more than others, sometimes just showing them that we are there to help them can be more of a blessing to them than anything else. Our children have been drug threw everything. Rape and abuse victims, survivors of attempted suicide, family and friends who have lost someone to suicide, I've seen some pretty weird stories but all end with the same sad story. A grieving child.
For now this is just a pilot program, seven kids, three people who volunteered to help and one reason for doing it. To help a soul in need. I'll tell you how it ends when I find out myself but for now just do what YOU can to help someone. Make a difference in the life of someone who needs it like I pray I am doing. I myself am not a saint, nor do I claim to be one. I am not bragging about what I am doing just trying to get others to start helping in this community a little more by sharing my story hoping it will encourage those who read it.

All my Thanks go to Czak Fallghen and my big brother (Only in my heart) Justin for introducing Write For Life to me. I RAWR you guys!

-Micheala-